Had hypnosis today

Trying to find out why I am not motivated at the moment. Got hypnotised today and went back 40 years. Very interesting. I am going to sleep on it and let you know. Positive vibes though...

Another update

Have you ever been forced out of your job to make way for a friend of someone. It happened to be on 1st May 2008. I still fell regrets, but hey it is a lot less stress. I remember when I made the decision I walked around the house naked- I was free. Very liberating - it was one of the causes of my depression at the time.

Update

Its over three and a half years since I blogged here. Did I beat depression? Well I am still here, and still in a job. I was bullied out of my old job when I returned from honeymoon. I got re-married in March 2008. I have been through financial divorce court and I have not seen my children for over six years. My youngest is 15 today. I am sane, happily married and not on any medication. I am a type 2 diabetic but feel better than I have done for years. Apart from lack of motivation I am good. More soon.

Getting there

Well I got up and had a shave this morning - believe it or not that is a step forward. Soon be the weekend - my fiance will be at home.

Starting to look at finance and settlements now - it takes a while to get into the right mood to tackle these issues but I feel OK today.

I will let you know how I get on.

I am still here

Well I have been off a week now and certainly feel better. Not seeing my alternative practicioner till 18th Feb. Not much to say except I am spending most of the time indoors at present - don't want to be seen out and about.

Still a bit slow sorting out things - that needs to change.

I will try to be more upbeat. Since I have been off work I have not picked a winner (or anywhere near a place horse to score points) and am languishing at the bottom of my tipsters table. This must be a good barometer of my mood.

My fiance said Prozac changed my smell. I was concerned about clenched jaw but I seem to be sorting that one out.

Going to the Doctors today

At my initial trip to the doctors I suggested that I did not want time off as it would make me worse. Since then I have had a few days off - self certified. I suffer from panic attacks and occasionally forget things but feel better. I am going to tell him about Prozac and the effect it had on me. I might try for another medication.

I am going to visit an alternative practicioner, my usual one is not working at the moment so I need to find someone else. I have a number I will phone after being to the doctors.

Not blogged for a couple of days - wonder why?

Last blog was Tuesday. Wednesday was all too much for me at work, kept getting bombarded by pointed emails from my boss. I threw the towel in at lunchtime then went back to my digs. My landlord, who has been through similar to myself said I was doing the right thing. I am going to take a week off - self certified then go to see the doctor for time off.

Wednesday evening I just lay down in relief. Was awake in the night and yesterday morning it took me a long time to move. I was reading a book about depression.

Yesterday I won my racing competition and 25 pounds to boot - I even went to cheer on my horse at the track.

Had a few glasses of wine with my fiance last night and have a bit of a head this morning. I am going to phone my alternative health practicioner today to see if she can help.

I have been thinking that since I have been in my current role I have divorced and now my health is suffering. I need time to think this through.

Looking forward to the weekend now. I don't know if I can be seen out during work hours.