Getting there

Well I got up and had a shave this morning - believe it or not that is a step forward. Soon be the weekend - my fiance will be at home.

Starting to look at finance and settlements now - it takes a while to get into the right mood to tackle these issues but I feel OK today.

I will let you know how I get on.

I am still here

Well I have been off a week now and certainly feel better. Not seeing my alternative practicioner till 18th Feb. Not much to say except I am spending most of the time indoors at present - don't want to be seen out and about.

Still a bit slow sorting out things - that needs to change.

I will try to be more upbeat. Since I have been off work I have not picked a winner (or anywhere near a place horse to score points) and am languishing at the bottom of my tipsters table. This must be a good barometer of my mood.

My fiance said Prozac changed my smell. I was concerned about clenched jaw but I seem to be sorting that one out.

Going to the Doctors today

At my initial trip to the doctors I suggested that I did not want time off as it would make me worse. Since then I have had a few days off - self certified. I suffer from panic attacks and occasionally forget things but feel better. I am going to tell him about Prozac and the effect it had on me. I might try for another medication.

I am going to visit an alternative practicioner, my usual one is not working at the moment so I need to find someone else. I have a number I will phone after being to the doctors.

Not blogged for a couple of days - wonder why?

Last blog was Tuesday. Wednesday was all too much for me at work, kept getting bombarded by pointed emails from my boss. I threw the towel in at lunchtime then went back to my digs. My landlord, who has been through similar to myself said I was doing the right thing. I am going to take a week off - self certified then go to see the doctor for time off.

Wednesday evening I just lay down in relief. Was awake in the night and yesterday morning it took me a long time to move. I was reading a book about depression.

Yesterday I won my racing competition and 25 pounds to boot - I even went to cheer on my horse at the track.

Had a few glasses of wine with my fiance last night and have a bit of a head this morning. I am going to phone my alternative health practicioner today to see if she can help.

I have been thinking that since I have been in my current role I have divorced and now my health is suffering. I need time to think this through.

Looking forward to the weekend now. I don't know if I can be seen out during work hours.

I am getting short tempered

No exercise yesterday and no Prozac makes Johnnie a bit agitated. Going to remedy this by a trip to the gym tonight. I got a bit angry with my boss today. New member of staff started and I showed him round.

Need to do a tax form tonight - I always leave it late but the pressure is on so I can cope. Need to find some information to fill it in.

Back on top of my racing competition this afternoon with two races to go. My aim is the maximum score in the competiton to date need another 55 points or so.

Spoke to my sister about her new baby yesterday - both she and her husband seem quite stressed by it all.

Today I proposed

I proposed to my girlfriend today. Odd you may think when we have already planned a wedding and a honeymoon....she said yes - can't be too bad a day.

Work was ok but had a glitch at 9.00am. My new desktop has a different version of powerpoint to my laptop - no presentation was forthcoming. Had to postpone class for an hour.

Heard that one of the students was going to take medication for depression. I told the tutor beware and that I had taken it. He is a bit of a gossip though so watch for what happened.

Birds deposited on my car today - supposed to be lucky.

I proposed where my girlfriend where we first held hands - romantic or what?

The ring is sparkly - aquamarines with diamonds and big smile on her face.

Today goes down as a good day.

Sunday update

Went for the run this morning and was out for an hour. I was doing OK for the first part but after about 30 mins I took in too much air and started coughing. Walked for a while through a park (lots of families with children - its the first decent Sunday for a while) then Fartleked for 20 minutes. Feel good and relaxed without the spaced out feeling of Prozac.

Waiting for the engagement ring to be delivered this evening. My other half was talking about an engagement party next weekend - Prozac may have to make a reappearance.

My sister is back from hospital and is doing well with her daughter. Expect to speak with her this evening as well.

Life is not too bad and I have even read my lecture notes for tomorrow.