Its official - I am old

I was called the old guard yesterday by my bosses boss.  I wouldn't mind so much but she is older than me. I am not going to let her forget this ageist comment.

I will make references to getting my slippers at future meetings and maybe needing a stick.

Its my wife's name day today - bit of an excuse to get more presents. I got her and inspired "shiatsu massager". Needless to say she is looking forward to trying it out this evening, probably while lying naked on a sheepskin rug.

Happy days.

Blood pressure

Bought a blood pressure meter today.  Wanted to do another of the tests diabetics tend to do on themselves. As its new I did it 4 times. First was a bit high 153/91 back from the shops. Second an hour later was 145/84. Went for a 5k run in the gym and measured about half an hour after 132/81. Once I cooled down even further I got 124/78.

Quite pleased really. The secret to diabetes control is low carbs and excercise.

No hangover today

I exercised last night and put a bit of effort in. I go to a men's keep fit class and I am gaining more confidence. (I am best of all at rope kicks).

When I exercise I feel good. I used to do a lot more then about three years ago I developed a bad back. That put pay to any exercise as my right leg used to collapse (quite embarrassing in front of a class). Seem to be better now though.

I exercise to help with diabetes. Do you know that moderate exercise is better than heavy exercise in controlling blood sugars? I can take BG levels down 2 points or more with half an hour on a cross trainer at a max heart rate of 130.  If I exercise higher it goes maybe 2 points higher.

In 3 weeks we go to Spain on holiday - looking forward to that.

Its the week end and looking forward to some r and r with my wife.

Drinking too much again

Got a sore head today.  For the past 2 and a half weeks my alcohol consumption is increasing. It started with a weekend at the in laws and has kept going.getting a bit fed up at work because no one listens to me now. I disagree with some changes (other people agree with me) but nobody will put their head above the parapet.

Its time to move on really. I am 53, just given a quarter of my pension to my ex, and have to support my children (even though I have not seen them for almost 7 years) for another 5 years at least.

What should I do. My wife wants to go self employed so I need to stay in paid employment while she sets herself up.

Anyone else been there?

Reflections on hypnosis

It made me on one hand more assertive - on the other peaceful.

Ever been hypnotised

I don't feel motivated at the moment so I am trying hypnosis. Last night I went back 40 years and it was amazing what I discovered. Everything happens for a reason, even if it seems terrible at the time. Recommend it, so relaxing...

Had hypnosis today

Trying to find out why I am not motivated at the moment. Got hypnotised today and went back 40 years. Very interesting. I am going to sleep on it and let you know. Positive vibes though...

Another update

Have you ever been forced out of your job to make way for a friend of someone. It happened to be on 1st May 2008. I still fell regrets, but hey it is a lot less stress. I remember when I made the decision I walked around the house naked- I was free. Very liberating - it was one of the causes of my depression at the time.

Update

Its over three and a half years since I blogged here. Did I beat depression? Well I am still here, and still in a job. I was bullied out of my old job when I returned from honeymoon. I got re-married in March 2008. I have been through financial divorce court and I have not seen my children for over six years. My youngest is 15 today. I am sane, happily married and not on any medication. I am a type 2 diabetic but feel better than I have done for years. Apart from lack of motivation I am good. More soon.